![]() I have learned that it’s his choice what to do, you can’t save someone from themselves, you’re not a psychiatrist or therapist. Eventually, months later, he apologized, and I told him he cannot say these things to me, and that I would continue to maintain a strong boundary. He lashed out verbally, and was quite nasty and mean, and instead of responding as expected, I just went silent. He was FURIOUS with me because that’s not the script he expected. I cannot deal with you saying these things, it’s too painful. The last time my brother threatened suicide, I asked him: Have you called your therapist? Have you called the crisis center? Here’s the phone number. I have learned there is nothing you can do. I have a manic-depressive brother, who also does this. Refuse to be alone with this unfair burden, even if your actions irritate your friend: The theme was: Get some other people involved. I was most interested in the ideas that came from people who have been where you are. But the responses I received when I shared your letter convinced me that there are other ways to think about this. It almost seems like one of those situations that’s just unwinnable: You either bear the burden of being someone’s whole source of emotional support or you back up and risk losing them altogether. I’m also sorry you friend is in such a tough place, because I believe him when he says he feels he has very little to live for. This is a horribly painful, unsustainable way to feel, and I’m sorry your friend has put you in such a hard situation. I feel like if I leave him alone for too long I’ll check up on him just to find him dead. He has told me that he’s getting therapy, but I don’t think it’s helping. He’s a really good friend and I enjoy his company, but I don’t like feeling responsible for someone else’s mental health. I have a friend who is almost constantly saying that I’m the only reason he hasn’t killed himself and other things to that regard. Here’s this week’s dilemma and answer thanks to Been There Unfortunately, TH, Missy Bee, Tired Misanthropist, and Former At-Risk Loved One for their ideas. She’ll post her final thoughts on the matter on Fridays. Each week in the Wednesday column, Prudence asks readers for their thoughts on a question that has her stumped. ![]()
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